List Q&A

As you know one of the aims of marriage is to gratify the sexual needs and instincts and there are other purposes also for marriage which have been enumerated and explained in their appropriate places. Although it has become relatively difficult for many people to marry, those who adhere to Islamic manners and etiquettes  and believe that all problems are solved with God's help they can, with reliance on God, follow the Imams' tradition and lifestyle and can start their marital lives by holding a simple and effortless ceremony. If they do so, God has promised to enable them out of His own grace as the Quran says: "Marry those among you who are single, or the virtuous ones among yourselves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His grace: for Allah encompasseth all, and he knoweth all things." [1]

Thus, the best way that is proposed to the youths so as not to fall into a sin is to take marriage easy. If an individual expects to have all means of livelihood and the best income before holding a wedding ceremony, he must know that such a thing has not been and is not possible for ordinary people in society.  In the past, in fact, the youths used to take action for marriage after attaining physical and mental maturity. Thereupon, they would start working hard, toiling, getting busy doing a job and then having a house and stable income.
Hence, therefore, you can try to take action for a simple and frugal marriage at your earliest convenience and as soon as you can so as to guard yourself against sins. You must know that if you adjust some of your expectations and requirements in regard to a girl whom you would like to choose as a life-partner and if you marry a girl who is financially in a lower position than you, you can find many good girls to choose for marriage; otherwise you should restrain yourself from falling into sins. If you fail to marry, fasting, studying, taking exercise and thinking about your own personality as a respected human being can help you stay away from sexual sins. Surely, you should also stay away from sexually exciting and provocative things or going to such places where you might be excited sexually.

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[1] Al-Noor, 32
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Ref: www.Islamquest.net

In man's course towards Allah, not only isn't marriage considered an obstacle, but in fact can be a means of help too, meaning that marriage is not in contradiction with the love of Allah. Marriage does not mean to get attached to a love as great as the love of Allah, in fact it is a step that should be taken in the path of reaching the love of Allah.

Considering the antithesis between divorce and marriage, in order to learn of the reason why Allah hates divorce so much, we must first see why marriage bears so much significance in His eyes.¹

In the Quran, the creation of people in pairs has been mentioned as one of Allah’s signs, which is a means of their peace and calmness. ² In the narrations of the infallibles also, marriage bears great significance, to the extent that the prophet of Islam (pbuh) says:

No institution has been established in Islam more beloved to Allah than marriage.” ³

In addition, one of the benefits of marriage is procreation and the continuation of the human race. Thus, since divorce is the termination of marriage and it is by divorce’s means that the family is torn apart, and in some cases, the children, who once felt the warm hand of the mother and father stroking their heads, are left without someone to take care of them that they can go to and are left to themselves, and it is usually these same children who end up being criminals and felons in society. These and other reasons, such as contradicting the philosophy of creation are why Allah despises divorce so much.

Of course, please do note that divorce is despised when it is done without an acceptable excuse, ⁴ but if there is a good excuse for divorce, it will no longer be hated, and that is what divorce is for; for when there is no other way out.

[1] See: Falsafeye Ezdevaj dar Islam, 1300; Falsafeye Khotbeye Aqd, 1445.
[2] Rum:21.
[3] Saduq, Man la Yahduruhu al-Faqih, vol. 3, p. 383, Jame’eye Modarresin Publications, Qum, 1413 AH.
[4] Hurr Ameli, Wasa’il al-Shi’ah, vol. 22, p. 283, Aal al-Bayt Institute Press, Qum, 1409 AH. It has been narrated from Thawban that the prophet of Allah (pbuh) said: “Any woman who asks for her husband for divorce without any reason, the scent of heaven will be haram on her.”
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Ref: www.Islamquest.net

Before Islam, polygamy was considered normal and lacked any rules or limitations. As one of man’s essential needs, Islam has limited it, giving it specific conditions and terms. Islamic laws are all based on true needs and the benefit of society as a whole. The following needs are undeniable in society where people live in:
1- Men are a lot more prone to death than women are, that being a result of wars and other incidents that take place for them.
2- Men’s sexual urge lasts longer than women’s.
3- During their menstrual period and some of the time that they are pregnant, women aren’t allowed to have any intercourse, while men never have any prohibition in their lives whatsoever.
4- There are always women who for whatever reasons have lost their husbands, and in the case of the prohibition of polygamy, they usually have to remain widows for the rest of their lives.
These factors cause an imbalance between men and women, and in order for society to stay healthy, there are three things that can be done:
a) Men must be satisfied with only one wife, and widows need to stay widows for the rest of their lives and suppress all of their inner needs and feelings.
b) Men can only have one lawful wife, but can also have illegitimate sexual relationships with other women who have lost their husbands.
c) Men who have the ability to manage more than one wife, without any financial, physical or moral problems coming up, and can be just towards all of their wives and children, are permitted to marry more than one wife.
Out of the three, Islam has chosen the third. Also, there are many reasons behind why Islam doesn’t allow polygamy for women, such as: 1- Such a matter is in complete contrast with the nature of women. 2- The health of the future generation will be endangered. 3- The real parents of many children will be mixed up and unknown, and many other reasons.